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- Asking for what you want is a core skill that is crucial for achieving your goals and living with integrity, but many people struggle with it.
- Not asking for what you want can lead to feeling stuck, experiencing interpersonal conflict, and a sense of high stakes that causes fear rather than focus on goals.
- Complaining can be a useful starting point to uncover your underlying desires and dreams that you want to pursue.
- Overcoming the resistance and fear around asking for what you want is a key part of developing this skill effectively.
- Asking intentionally, with both clarity and humility, is important for getting your needs met while respecting others.
- Accepting the response you get, whether a "yes" or a "no", is crucial for learning and growth rather than getting stuck in negative emotions.
- Dealing with the fear of failure or rejection is a common blocker, but reframing it as an opportunity to try again in a different way can be helpful.
- Maintaining relationships and understanding the context/state of the person you're asking is important for effective communication.
- Articulating what you truly want, not just what you think you should want, is a key first step in this process.
- Embracing all parts of yourself, including the "complaining" or "scared" parts, with compassion can soften resistance and help you move forward.
When you ask for something you're much more likely to get it
Every complaint implies a dream
What would it take to get a hell-yes
aka: a full-body yes
Executive coach Kenneth Berger discusses the importance of asking for what we want and the challenges that come with not doing so.
If you’re on the people pleasing camp, youre used to not asking. You’re hoping people are reading your mind.
“why even bother”